The Difficulties Single Fathers Face

The Difficulties wizard Fathers FaceOnce a famous German caricaturist and poet Wilhelm Busch (1832 1908) said that becoming a take isnt difficult, b bely its very difficult to become a father. This phrase can buoy be interpreted in different ways, merely at the mo workforcet it is as topical as never before, since essential affectionate changes and shifts state the question of bloodline for men in absolutely new light. The matter is, to a coarseer extent and more men these days happen upon themselves undivided fathers, and have to brass instrument new reality, while the rules of order is not actually ready to accept them appropriately. This problem is attracting more and more attention of public and specialists, but still on that point is not enough research of the matter and fathers still essentially take pains to prove their rights single dads rebriny a poorly represented group in official statistics, government programmes and communities, as Sandra Gruescu (2010, p. 19) states. The topicality of the subject and its narrow presentation in scholar studies has incite us to focus attention on this problem in order to find out whether single fathers really face many problems in youngster fostering and their personal life and what ways out there atomic number 18 for them to make things better. In this way the object of out research is lone producehood and single fatherhood of London is the main subject. To move from the first to the latter we ar going to use deductive method. Apart from that, as for methodology to be applied, we shall use surveying and case study in order to get information at first hand, content-analyses in order to understand what has already been anchor out and what the probable holes of studies are. To provide that, we shall study local, national and partly international press, official reports and local overviews. Then we shall be able to sum up supposititious and empirical data and make conclusions on what are the moder n conditions for men growing children on their own.In this way, tasks we are going to undertake are the adjacent to study general materials on single parenthood single out the issue of lone fathers, especially those living in London synthesize fragments collected and give critical summary involve the comments of interviewees and finally to tally up the situation.SINGLE PARENTHOOD IN TERMS AND FIGURESIn this paragraph we are to find out what is single parenthood, where it takes its roots and where results in. On the whole, as for the terms, a lone parent is one who takes care of a child (or children) all on his or her own, without participation of another parent within home. Divorce or death of the spouse are among the main reasons of growing a child alone adoption, corrupt or abandonment, and artificial insemination. A parent who takes a conscious decision to grow up a child on his own from the very antecedent is also called a choice parent.All in all, as calculated in 2009, the re are 1.9 million sole parents in the UK. In come in they bring up rough three million children. By Labour Market Review (2006), cited by Charlotte Philby (2010), each forth family is a family of one parent (among them about 8-11 % are male). Among those, 13% are under 25 years of age.Those parents who stay with the child most of the time are called primary carers, and those who just lambaste children are called secondary carers. By statistics, more than 90 percent of primary carers in the join Kingdom are women, and it goes without saying that all the assistant from the government, tax revenue credits and benefits are given to them. Still, as the General National Survey has shown, more than a half of single-parented households live be mild the poverty line. On average, it takes about 600 pounds per year to raise a child, and about 10,500 pounds to grow a child from birth till full age.CALAMITIES TO OVERCOMEExcept financial, there is a great number of long-term social and psy chological, physical and mental health influences on both ex-spouses and children after divorce. It may be destructive or loyal, and the strength of breathing out depends on the extent of intimacy between children and each of the parents, on parents characteristics like age, education level, occupation and income, on relations left between parents, on weightyship rights prescribed for the secondary carer, and the circumstances children grow in on the whole (Coombs, 1991). Half-abandoned children are more like to experience behavioural problems, and Augustine Kposawa (2003) adds a schedule of main consequences higher risks of clinical depression, greater need for formal psychiatric assistance, and higher rates of suicide among men.As any other vulnerable group, sole parents arrive a kind of support from the government, from non-profit organizations and on-line resources as well. These days there are more and more forums, web-sites, social networks, blogs and professional advice s ervices where sole parents can share their problems and look for decisions together. A good example is the Gingerbread National Charity for Single Parents.The development of such programs seems to be obvious for the first sight, but in reality the issue is not so well-defined. The matter is, there is lots debate over single parenthood on the one hand, government assistance is a normal social practice. But on the other hand, it turns out that the government itself is supporting the phenomenon which is against the society itself while sole parenthood doesnt correspond to the tralatitious moral values and family standards and it seems, there can be no sound society with unsound families. Thus present British Prime Minister Mr. Cameron is rather to encourage marriages by 150 tax breaks than take care of objectionable sole parents living under the breadline (Rowling, 2010). The police of the Tories has naturally risen a good deal of criticism Do you not think that is discrimination aga inst someone who pays their tax bill every month, and someone who is going to find that my companion down the road who has managed to find Mr Right gets away with paying less tax than I do, just because I am raising my children by myself? (Tapsfield, 2009 p. 15). Single parents are pushed to feel second-class.But why are we now there?Through the 20th century the amount of households with single parent was rather low, but during last three decades figures began to grow rapidly. Basically, these changes have their historical, social and demographic reasons. Firstly, women began to feel more confident in their rights and freedoms, and more and more of them came to the conclusion that living on their own has more advantages than living in an unhappy wedlock. They began to receive more support from the official structures and the attitude of the society became not as reprehensible as it used to be. Fresh figures show that 57 per cent choose the single life as they say it is more rewardi ng, Steve Doughty (2010, p. 30) writes. Meanwhile the civilized foundation has been experiencing crucial shifts in gender social roles. More and more women prefer career to family and under the tension of business life more and more women are loosing their maternal instinct while paternal one on the contrary has been gaining force.FATHERS IN THE MIDDLENow we are to sharpen our attention at a narrower group presented by sole fathers. It was investigated that more than 3 million men are classed as economically in officious, living on benefits or the black miserliness (Arendell, 1995 p. 112). It is also an example of social changes, but still many of men either successful or not very face obligation and allow for to be primary carers for their children Active involvement in the day-to-day lives of children is no longer the exclusive domain of mothers. Fathers are being encouraged to build side by side(predicate) interpersonal relationships with their children. As a result, many fat hers have found that being a parent is richly rewarding and they are not willing to select the role of weekend father just because a marriage relationship has soured (Bartz and Witcher, 1978 p. 2). According to the statistics, family heads are divorced or separated fathers (8.4 per cent), never-married fathers (1.5 per cent), and widowers (0.9 per cent).In the United Kingdom there are 210,000 male sole parents (8-11 %) rising up 280,000 dependent children. In London specifically, by National Statistics (2006), there are 16,473 households headed by single males. In other words, each ninth single parent is father. Meanwhile there are 180,366 male secondary cares also identified as absent fathers. In the borough alone there are 5,710 households headed by single parents with 934 children living with their fathers (Ehrlich, 2008).SPECIFIC DIFFICULTIES FACED BY SINGLE FATHERSIt goes without saying that lone fathers face generally the same problems as lone mothers, but there are some part icular troubles too. First and foremost, it is already difficult to prove their right on the child, as courts traditionally favour mothers. And even if men win, their exes a good deal dont leave them in peace, as they are more natural to be with a kid. The society has much less trust and approval for men. Nevertheless, men can be essential for developing language skills, developing awareness of rules and boundaries and being a despotic male role model in the childs life (Risman, 1986 p. 96).Further on, it is considered that financial problems are less spread among men, but in fact they receive much less flexibility at their workplace and face negative attitude of supervisory. They are taken as awkward while it is not commonly for fathers to be so involved and faithful. Meanwhile is the most important thing for a child, his or her love cant be bought with money, therefore a lone father has to balance between financial obligations and emotional relations. If they go straight back to work, theyre treated like crappy parents if they dont, theyre called benefit scroungers, Jane Ahrends explains (Philby, 2010 p. 15).Moreover, it is not a secret for a father that a child needs a woman to see a female behavioural model and to provide care, but it is rather hard for a lone father to get married again a woman is likely to avoid a man with children, as their mother is often there too maybe, the girl doesnt like children at all or wants to have her own first and better to share all those first experiences with her economise she doesnt want to be initially judged as a mother and she doesnt want to share her husbands attention with someone else (Miller, 2007). Yet, for sole fathers on the first place are the problems with their exes with whom, for the sake of their children, they should co-work effectively despite all misunderstanding.Then, what is even more striking, sole fathers should be ready to cope with emotional distress of children who can have low self-esteem, feel different from others and consequently have problems with socialization. Especially it is hard when a man fosters a girl. He should keep his healthy guides status and escape compare in order to keep balance.Its easy to become angry and depressed when loving and committed fathers have to prove they are just that, Peter Ehrlich (2008, p. 18) admits.THE way of life TO WITHSTANDIn fact, there are special support groups for those who bring their children alone no matter female or male. But certainly there are more women who into the bargain feel more natural and free to express their feelings and emotions. For most of men that method is not available.Versus the indifference of the officials, single fathers are now actively uniting their forces. And one of especially active representatives of this social group, William McGranaghan has recently organized a special service Dads House within the draw Homes for Families and Fathers (Hoff) specially for their companions-in-arms where t hey can get in touch, spend time with their offspring and acquire some useful skills like cooking. By summer 2010 it has had already 1,400 active members. There are other support groups as well, e.g. the one of Pete Wrighton, where men learn to talk and to be honest.CONCLUSIONSo, the things are not as bad as they may seem on the face of it. However, we have found out that the topic strongly needs further consideration. The attention of employers and officials should be attracted to the issue, and social stereotypes should be discarded gradually. On the one hand, it is hard to disagree with the governmental policy intended to encourage healthy family structures which seem to be more trustworthy and stable. But the matter is, that is a deceptive impression to date, and, if accepted and assisted, lone fathers are able to bring up much healthier, much happier and much more perspective citizens of future, than two-parented, but unhappy and destructive families where a child receives no care but copies wrong behavioural models. These issues should be deeply learnt by family psychologists and scholars as well. All in all, single fathers problems in todays London are many, and they should be thoroughly examined by sociologists, demographers, psychologists and pedagogues. In that way they are possible to be work out and unloaded.